Thursday, March 24, 2011

Underneath this layer of angst are tears and tears.
I'm hiding in the room crying my eyes out, fearful that mom/dad is gonna walk in the next second as the tears run down my face. It's sucha blow, again. It's like i'm feeling a heartbreak all over again. I've been telling myself that i've moved on repeatedly, over and over again, hoping that i'd come to believe it myself if i act as if i meant what i said. But no, whatever you're doing now just continuously overwrite what i've been telling myself.

Every single time i see you so posed, calm and happy, my heart stopped beating for a second. I gasped and painfully realised that i'm not over you, and you're over me.

Out of a sudden, i've lost all motivation to move forward or even pretend to move forward. I've tried to hard for 4 fucking months to only find myself still circling around you.
What should i do now? What's even left of me after you're gone?

9 comments:

Lin Junxian, Jave said...

Hey, it's perfectly normal for you to feel that way. Just understand why you feel that way and you can overcome it.

It took me around a year to completely heal so i guess it's ok for you to take some time to heal too ya.. take care!

Read the five stages of grief to overcome it ok? :)
http://www.essortment.com/5-stages-grief-16816.html

Anonymous said...

its normal and because u love him alot. but think you should try to stop thinking about him because the more you carry on with this thoughts, the harder it is for you to forget him.

let time heal things and maybe the real mr right will be there for you ! =)

anyway do u happen to be at lot1 around evening/night on 24th march?
if not then ignore this, perhaps my eyes saw another gorgeous girl like you!

Kelly said...

@anon: errrr yeah I was at the mall on the 24th.

Kelly said...

@jave: yeah I read it already. Thanks!

glenn said...

be yourself. there are always ups and downs in life. this may be hard time 4 u. but remember there are many loved ones by your side. U are not alone. =)

Healing takes time. be brave to overcome milestones in life. remove it and move on. "o"

In my opinion is "Everything is about the mind".
Jiayou!!!

KELLY said...

@glenn: LOIS?

glenn said...

LOIS? what was that? izit a comment? :)hahaha sry i am not that good in all this...

Kelly Soh said...

@glenn: Heh nah, i thought you were my friend glenn :>

glenn said...

errr :} so is it "good" to have the same name as him? -_- curious